Jesus trying to make a point
Jesus saw a crowd chasing down a woman to stone her and approached them. "What's going on here, anyway?" he asked."This woman was found committing adultery, and the law says we should stone her!" one of the crowd responded."Wait," yelled Jesus. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."Suddenly, a stone was thrown from out of the sky, and knocked the woman on the side of her head.
"Aw, c'mon, Dad..." Jesus cried, "I'm trying to make a point here!"
Moses and Bush
One day, two planes land at an airport. President George W. Bush gets out of one. A man wearing a white robe gets out of the other and starts walking away. The Pesident catches up to him, and says, "Excuse me sir. Are you Moses?" the man keeps walking. The president follows him. "Excuse me sir. Are you Moses. The man keeps on walking. The president runs ahead of the man and stops him, repeating himself once more. "Excuse me sir. Are you Moses. finally, the man stopped and replied, "Yes, but the last time i talked to a bush i ended up wandering the desert for 40 years."
Which servant of Jehovah was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
Q. Which servant of Jehovah was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. Because he broke all 10 commandments; at once.
"Sorry. I didn't recognize you."
As Bill was approaching mid-life, physically he was a mess. Not only was he going bald, but years of office work had given him a large pot belly. The last straw came when he asked a woman co-worker out on a date, and she all but laughed at him. That does it, he decided. I'm going to start a whole new regimen. He began attending aerobics classes. He started working out with weights. He changed his diet. And he got an expensive hair transplant.
In six months, he was a different man. Again, he asked his female co-worker out, and this time she accepted. There he was, all
dressed up for the date, looking better than he ever had. He stood
poised to ring the woman's doorbell, when a bolt of lightning
struck him and knocked him off his feet. As he lay there dying,
he turned his eyes toward the heavens and said, "Why, God, why now? After all I've been through, how could you do this to me?"
From up above, there came a voice, "Sorry. I didn't recognize
you."
From Christian-jokes.net
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Saturday, February 6, 2010
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